Before I mention recent events or future plans, it is contextually important to give some background on my Masonic journey and life leading up to my choice of petitioning. I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. I lost my mother to cancer when I was six and was estranged from my father by my mother’s family. He served multiple tours in Vietnam and was obviously affected negatively by the experience. This was evident by many of his life choices after returning home. My parents divorced before my mom passed. So, when she did, my grandmother challenged the court and was granted custody of me. An only child being raised by their grandmother makes for an interesting upbringing. Some of you that know me may debate her success in raising me, but I think she did alright or at least the best she could with the likes of me. All joking aside, I had a terrific childhood filled with mostly great memories. But, there was still a void that all young men need, that of a father figure and male role model.
Don’t pity me, though, because while I may not have had a full time father in the picture, I had a few really good male role models. Some of them, notably, were some of my uncles. One of them taught me a lot about life including camping, shooting, boating, tool usage, wood working, and various other outdoor activities. He taught me a lot of good ole country boy common sense as well as some business acumen being a self employed craftsman, himself.
Another of my uncles lived next door and was a VERY active and accomplished Mason. He put me to work as a young man during school breaks and taught me work ethic and responsibility. But, it was later in life that I realized he had also been instilling me with morals and integrity through the examples he exhibited as he (we) dealt with various people in the public throughout our area. He also took me with him on various volunteer activities and fund raising events including entering me into a youth clown competition, sponsored by the Shriners, in which I took 1st place. There are pictures, but those are tightly guarded to keep my wife from disposing of them.
As I matured, I realized all of the valuable lessons and insight that had been offered to me. I also found that I had many apron and fez wearing older friends and acquaintances and some very good contacts from both of those uncles. So, upon my 21st birthday, it was no surprise to anyone that I submitted a petition. Being young and single, my Masonic career took off and was a whirlwind for the first few years. Within six months of being raised, I had attained all three Masonic degrees, all of the York Rite degrees and was a full fledged Shriner. In that time, I also became a coach and a very active degree team member. That is WAY too fast to progress through degrees, by the way. You cannot possibly learn and apply the tenets of Masonry in that short of time. I was memorizing, reciting, and teaching but had only scratched the surface on applying. That may be the subject of future podcasts or blog posts. I don’t want to digress from today’s subject at hand. Let’s just say that I’m still learning and using the working tools of the various degrees in the building and polishing of my own personal ashlar. That, too, may be the subject of a future discussion or blog post. Specifically, the debate on when your ashlar is deemed perfected. But at the time I was that young age, you had to complete and be active in either Scottish Rite or York Rite in order to become a Shriner. And, I couldn’t wait to put on a fez, ride motorcycles in parades, and even bought a red convertible with a white top that was used to ride dignitaries and young pageant beauties through various parades. I have no real regrets for rushing through the degrees because of the opportunities it did afford me at that stage of my life. But those and other experiences eventually led me back to the core of Masonry, the Blue Lodge, as I further matured and settled into a young family of my own. The earlier degrees are simply where I chose to focus on completing my personal ashlar as there are a plethora of lessons there and are the true foundations of Masonry, in my opinion. Through my involvement with the Traveling Men Motorcycle group, I had the opportunity to meet one man in particular that told many Shriners that he respected them and what they accomplish for kids, but that he rather focus on helping Masons improve themselves in Masonry and thus focused on Blue Lodge. He often told them that he would keep working on young Masons and make the fraternity attractive so that more good men would be eligible to become Shriners That stuck with me, largely due to my respect for that Worshipful Brother. So, I adopted the same focus for myself. But, again, my thoughts today are on legacies and not on providing a Masonic resume of accomplishments nor debating various methods of working on one’s ashlar. I hope this introduction gave you some needed background for the rest of my thoughts on today’s subject.
My early years in Masonry admittedly led to a bit of burnout. That coupled with the demands of a young family and advancing career resulted in my putting Masonry on that back burner. At the time of that decision, there were some various local Lodge politics poisoning the fraternity for me. So, I even officially demitted from the Fraternity. That decision is one that I ultimately regretted. I simply didn’t realize how much I would miss what it offered and would frankly need it later in my life. After many years, though, a friend and acquaintance that I frequently saw at work convinced me that the local Lodge was healthier and that I should consider petitioning to re-affiliate. I did. And, I then finished serving in the various chairs and through the East. Having already been able to serve in the East in all of the York Rite bodies, serving as Worshipful Master was the icing on the cake for me as far as leadership honors in the Blue Lodge and York Rite. But, one of the proudest moments that year in the East afforded me was realized toward the end of my “term”.
While working my way through the “chairs” toward the East, a young man had started dating my teen age daughter. You see, we usually inevitably repeat what we learn as kids. So, I had my daughter with me at a LOT of Masonic fundraisers and social gatherings. The only way that this young man got to spend time with my daughter was to join us on many of those occasions. He learned how to cook, sell tickets, and various other tasks in order to spend time with my daughter. And, I got to keep an eye on them as well as have many of my Brethren checking him out! At any rate, the year I was in the East, I attended the Grand Lodge session for our jurisdiction. At that session, the minimum age for petitioning was lowered from 21 to 18. This young man was still dating my daughter, heard me giving the family an update on my trip to Grand Lodge, and had only recently turned 18. He disappeared from the conversation and returned with a completed petition in hand. Let me tell you, that was one proud “dad” moment. Not only was he accepted readily by the Brethren, but he eventually married my daughter and made it an official “dad” scenario. You see family is important to me and I don’t care for the monikers “step” and “in-law”. I was happy for the kind of man that my daughter had chosen and was equally happy to have a ‘son’ in the fraternity.
For the record, my wife had a son when we met, too. Again, I rarely use the term “step son”. He is a son to me, too. But, he has no interest in the Fraternity and never really has. It isn’t his ‘thing’. He is a little older and an active politician in local politics. He and I have lots of great discussions on people, politics, local issues, career endeavors, and his own life and family. I get to watch him apply many of the tenets of Masonry in his life but am doubtful that he will ever petition a Lodge. Frankly and unfortunately, he has seen some local Masons in the community that are not exactly representing the Fraternity in the best light and that causes him pause on pursuing membership for himself. I respect his decisions and am equally proud of him regardless of his Masonic perception and lack of affiliation. Should he ever petition, though, I certainly hope that I will be honored with the opportunity to preside in the East for each of his degrees as I was able to do for my son-in-law.
As a Past Master, I took on other roles in the Blue Lodge while helping and watching my son-in-law progress on his own Masonic journey. I served as director of work for multiple years in two different Lodges and Secretary for a few years in one of them. In that time my son-in-law progressed through the chairs, followed me as the next Director of Work and ended up serving as one of the youngest Worshipful Masters in our jurisdiction. As far as Masonry is concerned, I couldn’t be prouder of a ‘son’.
However, every Masonic journey has a story that usually contains some drama and adversity. Let’s just say that there are numerous Brethren that made our and specifically my son-in-law’s journey much more difficult than it had to be. The most recent and potentially final episode being the same trial that I referenced in my last blog post. That trial resulted in numerous strained relationships and multiple cases of lost respect. It will take a long time to repair the fallout from a very much avoidable episode in local Masonry. The reason I bring it up is because I want to give an example of the damage toxicity can do to a healthy Fraternity as well as analyze how it was allowed to occur in hopes that we can prevent it and preserve more legacies going forward.
One of the most heartbreaking events in my Masonic journey was hearing my son-in-law, even after serving in the East and in numerous roles such as Director of Work, ask me if Masonry is really worth it. What happened to all of the things that originally attracted us to Masonry? What changed? Were we naive? Did we only see what we chose to see? Through exploring these answers, hopefully, we can make some conclusions and potential recommendations for the future of the Fraternity.
So as my journey indicates, I’ve seen the Fraternity at its best as well as at it’s low points. It has encouraged me as well as disappointed me. It attracted one son but the public image of the Lodge discouraged another. It caused me to demit for a period of time but has also benefitted me in many ways. Right now, I’m struggling with what the rest of my Masonic journey will entail. Part of me wants to double down and “fix” the Fraternity for future generations of Masons as well as what the Fraternity COULD offer society, in general. It is a noble cause. However, another part of me feels defeated and is considering that it could be a dying organization that is becoming more difficult to reform with each passing year. Even if I deem it worthwhile to continue contributing, how do I do that when both of my own ‘sons’ feel as they now do about the Fraternity. Perhaps, I should now focus on them and their families going forward. We will see.
Regardless, I want to re-iterate that the Masonic tenets are still very valid and priceless. I will continue using the Masonic working tools on the perfection of my ashlar, no matter what my participation becomes directly in the Fraternity and local Lodges. And, again, I urge all of my Brethren to consider what Masonry has done for them, how they currently view the Fraternity, and if a new call to action is warranted for the potentially burnt-out or apathetic Brethren to renew their participation and make the Fratnernity, once again, what we know it could be should we take a renewed interest in force.
Stay tuned for future blog posts as I continue on this Masonic journey and apply it in all aspects of my life. I truly hope that my ashlar is a respected work of art when the time comes to lay down my tools.
Sincerely and Fraternally,
Your Brother!
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